Sunny days

Why words and weather matter.


Tuesdays are for lovers here on The Joint Account. It’s Heather, and I’m here to share all the reasons why I’m smiling this week.

I don’t know nearly enough about astrology to go deep on this, but The Cut warned me at the start of this month that Mercury was in retrograde, and we should buckle up for a bumpy ride. I warned Doug, he rolled his eyes, and we forged ahead until the weird snafus started wreaking havoc on our lives: miscommunications, frazzled schedules, cancelled plans, lots of rain without umbrellas. I’m very proud of us, though. Things that used to really derail our moods towards *waves hands around* everything and each other didn’t have much effect. We’ve managed to keep it light, stay focused, and keep laughing. We’ve also been eating a lot of ice cream, which has a direct impact on my outlook of things. I should probably keep doing that.

Just like the moons and suns and stars, all weather moves eventually. And here in the Northeast, it has. With 70-degree temps and the sunshine we’ve been waiting for, we are taking our crusty selves out of hibernation once and for all. A little Vitamin D and poof — life is good. Maybe that’s an overstatement, but take one stroll down a New York City sidewalk and you’ll see a dozen people who also feel like their problems have been solved for this one fleeting moment.

So yes, things are looking up for The Boneparths this week, not just due to the weather but also our new piece CNBC published over the weekend about why allowances should only ever be for your kids—not your spouse.

On social, reactions to the article have been funny. Some people were shocked to learn anyone would ever use the term “allowance” anymore in reference to money given to their partner—that’s the camp I was in when we started our couples interviews for the book. Others set out their budgeting strategies for us, which okay, fine. Then one guy tried to whatabout us, as in butwhatabout if a wife would spend every cent she has access to so there’s no other options besides bankruptcy or an allowance, to which I said, wellthenabout, she needs a financial therapist more than an allowance. Good lord.

Semantics have a lot to do with it. The term “allowance” is infantilizing and carries a notion of undue permission that has no place in an equitable relationship. Also, in our eyes, there’s a better way to support autonomous spending and facilitate better communication habits between partners. Read about it in the piece, if you’re interested!

And if you’re in the Northeast, do yourself a favor and go outside this week. Touch some grass. Have an iced coffee in the sunshine. You have permission—not like you need it, from us or anyone else.

Have a juicy question for our next Q&A? Doug thrives in the awkward so give him a chance: [email protected].





For our book on love and money, we’re looking for couples who overspend, underspend, or have spent too much on the wrong things (like digital images of Toadz, ahem). If you’re interested in having a Zoom double date with us, email: [email protected].

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